sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Randomize