I wish I could punch you in the face.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I am naked and annoyed.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
