Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
