Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Randomize
