Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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