Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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