It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
