you would pick up someone in the library
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
It was confusing and full of hummus
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
