there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize