I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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