Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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