It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
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