I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I love you. Go after that dick
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
