just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
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