There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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