Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
