Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
