The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
