she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
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