I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.