Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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