When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
