he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
