Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Randomize
