that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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