It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
