i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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