Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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