Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
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