I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
It's never too late to be topless.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Can I color on your dick again?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
