We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
He has the fingertips of a God
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