i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
