Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Omg I joined a choir last night...
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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