Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
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I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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