my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How external is "for external use only"?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize