dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
๐๐๐ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we werenโt furries
ok listen,
Randomize