Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
