He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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