Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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