I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
