Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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