I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
