Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
