pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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