I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
She announced her abortion via fbk
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
