so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
