you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
