just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
