I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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