i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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