i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
either way he was missing a nipple.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
