I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
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Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
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You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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