Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
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You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
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The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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