i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
