I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Can I color on your dick again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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