Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
