tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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