I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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