problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
